Ian: As we mentioned in class, you've got a great start here. Lots of good facts, solid and clear voice, and it's clear that you've done your research. No swiveling! But that's easy to fix.
The main thing to work on for next time is to shift from telling me why you chose this car to convincing me that it's the right car for you. This switch shouldn't be hard...but you need to make this shift so that you're using your voice to convince me, not just inform me. Make your case; make it AS a case. And then you'll have it.
i like your points that you made about the car and i liked how you were straight forward with it. Next time just make more of a connection with the audience
You made really good points and reasons as to why you chose the car. Really well organized too. Next time I would be more convincing to others as to why THEY should get the car, but other than that it was really good.
Ian: As we mentioned in class, you've got a great start here. Lots of good facts, solid and clear voice, and it's clear that you've done your research. No swiveling! But that's easy to fix.
ReplyDeleteThe main thing to work on for next time is to shift from telling me why you chose this car to convincing me that it's the right car for you. This switch shouldn't be hard...but you need to make this shift so that you're using your voice to convince me, not just inform me. Make your case; make it AS a case. And then you'll have it.
I like your reasons and organization. I would just work on the ending and make it clearer. Nice work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletei like your points that you made about the car and i liked how you were straight forward with it. Next time just make more of a connection with the audience
ReplyDeleteYou made really good points and reasons as to why you chose the car. Really well organized too. Next time I would be more convincing to others as to why THEY should get the car, but other than that it was really good.
ReplyDeletegreat facts and organization had a good flow to it. I would work on convincing more on why thats the right car for you
ReplyDelete