Ian: You've got a good story here. YOu need more than this, but the story is a good start. (and the slogan isn't bad, either). How about taking a bit more time to lay out what you see at the problems we face, the problems that require your services? And I'd like to hear more about your punishment plan.
Ethos: I sort of see strength here. YOu don't dwell on it, and you sound a bit...out of control...but I get the basic idea here. Take a bit more time to explain the type of strength you have and how you'll use this.
Pathos: I'm not sure about fear. Should I be afraid of you? I'm not clear why you want me to feel this way. For the revised version, pick only one emotion and see if you can bring it more to life.
Of course, you'll also want to be more familiar with your speech...but you'll get this.
Ethos: strength
ReplyDeletePathos: fear, trust
Ian: You've got a good story here. YOu need more than this, but the story is a good start. (and the slogan isn't bad, either). How about taking a bit more time to lay out what you see at the problems we face, the problems that require your services? And I'd like to hear more about your punishment plan.
ReplyDeleteEthos: I sort of see strength here. YOu don't dwell on it, and you sound a bit...out of control...but I get the basic idea here. Take a bit more time to explain the type of strength you have and how you'll use this.
Pathos: I'm not sure about fear. Should I be afraid of you? I'm not clear why you want me to feel this way. For the revised version, pick only one emotion and see if you can bring it more to life.
Of course, you'll also want to be more familiar with your speech...but you'll get this.